im confused about my personality.. i feel that im a person that always go with the flow.. just as long as there won't be any conflict involved.. a risk adverse person.. always concern about how others will judge me based on how i behave or communicate.. & that's why i rather not talk at all sometimes.. afraid that others will be judgemental on my opinions.. sounds stupid.. but im like that.. & that's perhaps thats how i look at others? it's a 2 way thing.. i guess.. also.. i feel i dun make enough effort in my life.. i dun have a real ambition.. can say that.. i live for the sake of living at times.. i know i want this i want that.. but i cant see myself in making the steps to achieve it.. i feel inferior.. keep thinking that i won't be achieving much in my life.. sigh..
it's hard to control when all these personalities have been in me since so long ago.. to change them i need time.. & its tough i must say.. i hate the way i am just to think about it.. all i can do is to keep reminding.. to keep changing.. to the way i want myself to be.. but what if i get tired of changing sometimes......
