♥ PAST .
take a walk down the alley of yesterday
July 2007 /August 2007 /September 2007 /October 2007 /November 2007 /December 2007 /February 2008 /March 2008 /April 2008 /May 2008 /July 2008 /November 2008 /December 2008 /February 2009 /March 2009 /
Sunday, February 1
10:00 PM
recently i kept feeling confused.. lost.. i began to lose myself.. i don't know who am i anymore.. i don't know what i want in life.. i don't want to live aimlessly.. but i don't know what to do.. which direction to head to.. the competition in school is killing me.. i can't seem to excel anymore.. makes me so bored of school.. or rather im so scared of going to school.. to face the competitors.. i have lost all my confidence i have had when i was young.. what happened to me.. i don't feel brave or courageous.. or initiative.. i am just a wimp.. & i do not want to be one.. mom wants me to do well.. now that i can't i felt so disappointed in myself.. even in relationship.. everything seems to be going in all directions.. what i do seems wrong.. what i say seems wrong.. & i dun even know i hurt him so badly until he told me.. i hated myself.. why am i such a loser.. failing in all areas in my life.. maybe that is why i had this little thing in me growing day by day.. that i had to take out.. i cant help but thinking why dun they might jus as well take my life away when they are taking this little thing out.. maybe i won't feel as miserable snymore.. jus treat that im jus a selfish girl... im sorry..
